i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
