i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
