ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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