Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
