walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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