Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
