things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
