He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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