who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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