So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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