Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
