My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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