we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
