If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
