So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
