I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
