YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
