she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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