sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
