Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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