Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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