I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
