you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
