I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
