How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
