Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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