We're like a lot better than the average bears
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
