he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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