my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
