You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Farmville is her only friend.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
