Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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