So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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