I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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