i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
