I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You're like the curious george of whores
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
