people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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