i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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