Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She needs sedatives and a leash
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
