This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
