Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We talked him into tasing himself.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
