well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
