my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
