Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think my vagina is haunted
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
