OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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