yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
