You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
