sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
