she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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