Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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