So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
