she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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