Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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